better than the original

went memorial day sale shopping today though i felt really sleepy the whole time. a few times i felt like for a split second i wasn't conscious, i wasn't there but somewhere else. actually that happens quite often in my life dunno why but my mind is pretty fuzzy a lot of the time. i also cannot see too well, it's a hassle to wear glasses and i'm not too into relying on contacts either. to add, my hearing isn't quite there haha. what a condition. i've been meaning to go to costco to get a hearing test...
i got a very nice olive colored blazer at club monaco today. although i must say it was a tad expensive. i bought some makeup from the drugstore too, lately been obsessively wanting new makeup...

tomorrow apparently ren and my mum are going to the park to meet up with ren's friend and her mum. maybe  i will photograph some drawings then, maybe photoshop

sometimes i think, how cool would it be to go to college to study art. sometimes this feeling gets to be so overwhelming and i get jittery, like i shouldn't be doing what i'm doing right now. i mean life would be way different from how it is at the moment, i would be thinking so differently and feeling so differently. my stress would no longer be "i need a 95% on the next paper to get an A in the class" and instead "this painting has something missing but i don't know what it is." though personally the latter is much more straining. but then the feeling goes away with a snap, like nothing ever happened.
one night in college i went to my friend hannah's dorm with jennifer to what started as homework time that all to quickly just became us talking until very late at night. that talk i still remember very well. hannah and jennifer were talking about an application-based summer arts program called csssa, where they met and became good friends. they talked  and talked nostalgically about how amazing that one month camp was, how they just made art morning to night, how their peers were the most amazing and talented people they'd ever met. they agreed they were the happiest then and it was the best month of their lives. i was sold. to be honest i don't really like listening to others' stories but this i was all ears. explosions in the sky was playing on repeat all night that day and i could not help but want to just immerse myself in art like that. dawn to dusk to late into the night until i hear the first birds to chirp that morning.

sometimes i feel i ought to. but anyway, it's nice to finally have speakers to listen to music with

lighten up you're taking it too seriously

yep you guessed it it's 3:36am. maybe i should keep a list of what time i go to sleep over the summer. i should sleep, i'm actually very tired right now i don't know why i'm still posting. photos are nice.
this is from a cute little cafe hidden far into the mountains in japan. my aunt took me here once, i don't know how she could ever know about a place so discrete. we drove up by the rough gravel path to get there, a little wooden shack-like thing. the sliding door creaked loudly as we walked in but the atmosphere inside was instantly calm and beautiful. books neatly resting on the bookshelf, a stove burning wood inside, a few wooden tables and chairs dotted the open space. a middle-aged man got up from his little wooden chair at the corner of the kitchen and greeted us kindly, offered us menus as we sat down. we ordered. the man got to work quick and i remember stepping outside to take a few photos. when my aunt called me i returned to find our snacks so neatly prepared "donut, chai latte, pumpkin pudding." he then promptly plopped down on his chair at the corner of the kitchen and went back to burying his face in a book. to be honest i don't remember if the snacks tasted good or not, but the peaceful air was definitely nice. on our way back to the car i noticed a half built wooden house similar to the cafe. my aunt told me the man is building another house. supposedly he has given up technological luxury and is now living with his family in nature.
i need to sleep now, i wonder what i will do tomorrow. good night...

photoscape

today my family and i went cherry and strawberry picking. i was excited about the peaches but apparently they do not start until june, we realized that when we got there. what a bummer! but luckily they still did have strawberries. we took out our frustration on the little boy who was quite frank in his way of confronting customers haha! we walked in with bags filled with water and the boy comes and says excuse me you can't bring that in and points to the trash can. my mom and i furrowed our brows at each other and went to throw out the bags. as we walked back the boy stopped us again saying excuse me you need a container to enter and i thought shit son, leave us alone now we're doing no harm. we bitched about the boy later haha, so immature but it was funny and definitely did lighten us up. i said "we could sue the boy for getting ill from eating unwashed strawberries" and my dad says "we should get a bunch of strawberries and be all oh dear we got too many and throw it out and step on them in front of him" hah. and then later "...by then we ought to be questioning our civil ethics as human beings" or something like that in japanese. i laughed. it's funny to think cruel things that you would never do, it just lives in your head like some mischievous five year old twat.

been trying out a new photo editing program called photoscape. it's quite good so far it's much more simple to use than photoshop, but definitely less control and freedom for fine-tuning. but it's okay, i just need to figure out how to save images onto my computer user.

ralph

it's 2:36am and i cannot sleep. i've been thinking thinking, good inspiring things i suppose but it's keeping me up which is not good because i have to be up at around 9am tomorrow. anyway this picture i took a while back maybe last summer with a pentax md. which, apparently has a self-timer lever that...works? i've played with it a few times but honestly i've been too lazy to actually test it out. i will though, for real this time. photoshopping the space background was really convenient corrector for this because my brother rentaro's nose is running a bit in this picture haha. i just realized how small he looks in this my has he grown.. hah

blogging

you know, i should start blogging again not that i ever was good at it but i don't know, there have been many times lately when i think hm i want to blog this or that. i do want to post pictures too, maybe look up a simple editing software because photoshop is a bit too elaborate for what i intend to use it for: adjusting contrast, saturation, lighting.

as much as i want to do that right now i can't because i have to go get ready to go to sleep soon, my family is going cherry/peach picking tomorrow. my mom says to wake up at 8am but i'm pretty sure we'll all just sleep in until at least 9am and end up leaving at around 10:45am. or 11am. likely the latter.

i will bring my square frame camera tomorrow. can you believe it's already been 2 years? crazy