digital wave

There are times when I turn my heart into stone. There seems to be no other way. And at times I fear myself, my capabilities, my loss of control over them. My view blurs: Is this how Insanity devours the soul? I feel myself slipping into the abyss of insanity. But no matter; the state of the mind is not of the question here. I needed focus. I sought peace.


Peace took the form of an ironic blessing. I stumbled upon a particular painting, a blend of warm colors gracing through the strokes, as if to preserve the painter's transient effervescence. My eyes were glazed by the work; all action halted around me. There was something so pure, so gentle and calming to the soul, and yet strikingly compelling... And without warning, Leo's genuine laughter seeped in through the crack under the door, and filled my ears. So much that it almost hurt. Tears stroked my burning cheeks.


If I were religious, would I call this salvation? Perhaps, but I coined it, essentially, an odd semblance of art: an endeavor that I believe to be truly all-embracing. I feel strongly that all factions of passionate expression falls under the umbrella of "art." I guard this with evasive justification.


I began to take more notice of the ubiquity of beauty. Often, it lurks among the more rudimentary objects within close reach. Note that I use the term "close" quite literally, even, as close as your clothing. Take, for instance, the gradient water marks left after washing a spot of paint off of a shirt. Why I felt the need to lunge for my camera and snap a few, I perhaps will never know.


We kid ourselves if we assume aesthetics as an intricate butterfly in a jar that you close the lid on and leave for display; aesthetic flows. At one second it rings so true that you can almost taste it, and then it's gone by the time you try to analyze its deeper meaning. But why should that matter if we have felt it with our soul?


Leo's presence has taught me to cherish it. An ideology I realized only quite recently: a vestige of the wabi-sabi principles of the Japanese culture that I was born and raised in. Odd coincidence, that this blends so effortlessly into the holistic health of the human spirit, which constitutes of not only corporeal, bodily health, but also of the more spiritual aspects of well being, and ultimately, the health of the mind.