04 fuck yeah photography

ALRIGHT WE'RE SHOOTING WE'RE STATING TOMORROW, YEAH?

As spring finally gave way to summer last year, my family and I went strawberry picking. It was one of the highest points in my life.

.....At least psychologically it was. 


I didn't know I could ever feel that good. 


Nothing seemed even potentially able to go wrong. 






Living never felt so fucking good.

I remember sitting on a bare part of the strawberry field, letting the sun kiss my cheekbones, the grass prickling gently against my calves. And smiling. Smiling, gently, like one of those things that you can't help but let turn your cheeks rosy and your entire skin radiant with love. Like one of those things that, you know you should be in denial of because life just can't be that good. Too good to be true, but can' t help but bask in the hope that maybe it's all true. Maybe it's all too real that, you just can't believe it. I thought maybe I could enjoy the moment, which perhaps is false and is too presumptuous for my own good. Why the fuck not?

Because I couldn't catch myself when I fell. I kept clawing at the lost hope. It's like drug addiction. Seeing things. Dreaming shit. Turning to escapist resorts.

I've still never worn the forest green polish on my nails. Except on my toes, but that doesn't count because they just looked black to me anyway from so far away.

So fucking far.

I think I loved you.