doing me in

so why do I have to be depressed to be artistically inspired
it's either
depressed and not inspired
depressed an inspired
happy and not inspired

but not happy and inspired

thom yorke says his music is driven from depression and other things
see
?

photographing

ipod with film camera

drawing

people on bicycles
people taking clothes off
people's napes
lips
braided hair

Where I End And You Begin.

When you
re browsing something and you
re faced with a long list of items, do you start at the first one, pick one somewhere in the middle or do you just go by what you feel like?

holy fuck

i'm out of it yep so where's reality

here i'm allowed everything all the time

i feel really weird
i don't quite know how to explain it
i don't think it's meant to be explained
it is radiohead that does this to me or is it a particular state i'm in that makes me want to listen to radiohead
i don't know
i don't know a lot of things right now

i texted a friend a few days ago
i said
idk why but im in a super spacey mood right now... sleepy and very chill, songs playing in my head. but very inspired and powerful.
accurrate imo.

it's not a good feeling though
i think
it correlates with irritability and mood swings
and apparently a habit of buying things
a lot of things

and i feel like crying
i don't know why

crying and inspired

completely true

If you want to live your life in a creative way, as an artist, you have to not look back too much. You have to be willing to take whatever you’ve done and whoever you were and throw them away. What are we, anyway? Most of what we think we are is just a collection of likes and dislikes, habits, patterns. At the core of what we are is our values, and what decisions and actions we make reflect those values. That is why it’s hard doing interviews and being visible: As you are growing and changing, the more the outside world tries to reinforce an image of you that it thinks you are, the harder it is to continue to be an artist, which is why a lot of times, artists have to go, “Bye. I have to go. I’m going crazy and I’m getting out of here.” And they go and hibernate somewhere. Maybe later they re-emerge a little differently.

Steve Jobs, Playboy 1985